Do you ask your cat for consent?

This question may come as a surprise to many people. Asking an animal for consent seems a weird question. Yet, it is so simple, and so important. Getting into the habit of asking your cat for consent will benefit the relationship with your cat tremendously.

It is important to note that animals, including cats, cannot provide informed consent in the same way humans do. Consent typically involves a level of understanding and communication that most animals do not possess.

Let’s put our thinking “cat” on:

Humans are primates, and primates are huggers. Some of us are tree-huggers. We hug everything and everyone. As an expression of love or affection. Holding someone tight makes most of us feel good.

And this is the reason we extend this “tree-hugger mentality” to our cats, or other animals.

Cats on the other hand are predators, and prey at the same time. They do not appreciate the feeling of being hugged or held close. It makes them feel restrained. And restraining a cat is usually not a good idea. It reminds them of the visit to the vet, or being caught by a predator. They associate this feeling with loss of control, fear and sometimes pain. Restraint is in most cases a predictor of pain.

Cats love to be scratched on the head, behind the ears, or under the skin. Let your cat sniff your hand and give her a little scratch on the cheek if she allows. Remove your hand and let her sniff again. If she leans into your hand keep on scratching. If she turns her head away, this is a sign she had enough. Or it was not the perfect spot for scratching.

Don’t forget, most cats like to be touched around the head, behind the ears or under the chin. Legs or tummy are a “do not touch’ red zone. Even if they stretch out in front of you, and present you their tummy. Believe me, it’s a trap!

When interacting with cats or any pets, it's crucial to respect their boundaries and observe their body language. If a cat shows signs of discomfort or stress, it's essential to give them space and avoid forcing any interactions.

Some general tips for interacting with cats:

1.     Approach slowly and move slowly: Allow the cat to see and hear you before approaching. Sudden movements or loud noises can be frightening.

2.     Observe body language: Cats communicate a lot through their body language. If a cat is purring, relaxed, and approaching you, it may be open to interaction. However, if the cat is displaying defensive body language, it's best to give them space.

3.     Let the cat come to you: Allow the cat to initiate contact. Some cats may be more reserved, and forcing interaction can cause stress.

4.     Respect personal space: Avoid petting sensitive areas like the belly unless you know the cat enjoys it. Stick to areas like the head and back.

5.     Blink slowly aka “Cat Kisses”: Slow blinks are a gentle way to communicate with a cat, without having to touch the cat. You can do this from far away, or as close as the cat allows you to come without showing signs of discomfort.

6.     Use a gentle touch: When petting, use a gentle touch. Pay attention to how the cat reacts and stop if they show signs of discomfort.

A word about scratchers and kitten burritos:

Poking an already scared cat with a stick usually doesn’t make her fear go away. The cat crouches in the far corner of the kennel to avoid it. Try slow blinks instead.

Wrapping a feral kitten in a towel and petting it on the head falls in the same category. In the behavior world it is called flooding. Sit on the floor and play with the kitten. Play overrides fear in very young cats, treats usually don’t. Kittens are more play motivated than food motivated.

Remember, while you can build a trusting relationship with a cat, it's not the same as seeking consent in human interactions. Always prioritize the well-being and comfort of the animal.

If you still have more questions about cat behavior contact me for a consultation.